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She had a good job in the customer-service department of a large medical supply firm, and was settling into a condo she had recently bought near her childhood home in California’s San Fernando Valley.

Her 20s had been rough, a struggle with depression, anxiety, alcohol and drugs.

As parents you capitulate even as you destroy your own fragile financial security.

They cite numerous examples of guardians who’ve lost custody of their kids even though they were never charged with any crime and when children exhibited zero signs of mistreatment.You post bail, buy cars, pay rent, doctors’ and attorneys’ fees, and pay for treatment that they rarely see through and that usually doesn’t work even when they do.Funds intended to benefit the grandchildren disappear without benefiting anyone. Though it takes toughness that’s hard to muster and support which is even harder to find, there are alternatives.The conversation began easily enough, “My brother is bleeding our parents into the poor house with his unending demands for money – money to support his addictions – and they don’t seem able to stop giving it to him, even though he isn’t getting any better. ” Or we hear from the parents themselves, “How can I get my spouse to stop giving our adult daughter money she just spends on booze or drugs?Her promises are worthless and the demands endless.” It’s not an uncommon condition.He learned from a social worker that Peter’s mother wouldn’t be able to take him home. Before taking a mandatory drug test, he explained that he used cannabis, with a doctor’s recommendation, to treat pain from a car accident he’d been in years earlier.